Toady is a public servant who attends the San Diego Gay Pride Parade, and possibly others, informing the participants that homosexuality is a sin, just in case they didn't know. He aquired the nickname Toady as a result of his resemblence to the animal.
Sometimes when addressing a crowd full of sinners, it can be difficult to say the right thing, so I have complied a list of some of his most clever sayings and when to say them. Because truly, he is a role model for us all.
| Occasion | What to say |
| Addressing a large crowd | "Homos and homo-ettes" (homo-ettes? homoettes? No idea how to spell that.) |
| A passing swim team | Remind them that soon they'll "be swimming in a Lake of Fire!" |
| A fat person | "You'll make a big splash in the Lake of Fire!" |
| A large float with sinful quantities of balloons | "God will pop your balloon on Judgment Day!" |
| A lull in the parade |
"Boooorrriiinnnggg!" "Where is the rest of the parade? Why can't you people get it together? Why can't you get your lives together?" |
| People dancing | "There will be no party in Hell! You will not see your friends in Hell! There will be no dancing in Hell!" |
| A passing drag queen | "Queenie queenie queenie! You'll meet The King on Judgement day!" |
| "Reaching out" to the gay community | "I think you're all normal. I think inside of each one of you, there is a person just like me, waiting to come out. I'm coming out of the closet - I'm in love with a man who died for my sins and in whose blood I cover myself." |