Was your house born BAD?
By Kelly Brown and KJ Coop home
First off, do you live in a... Pick one, asshole. Duplex Apartment/Condo Gated Community Track housing Just a good old fashioned lone house.
1. How often is the front door to your house open? Pick one, asshole. NEVER! Sometimes Always
2. How often is your *back* door open? Pick one, asshole. NEVER! Sometimes Always
3. How long is your house’s chimney? Pick one, asshole. It doesn't have one Under four feet Over four feet
4. When you come home, do you ever have the feeling that your house has done something wrong while you were away? Pick one, asshole. NEVER! Sometimes Always
5. Is your house *dirty*? Pick one, asshole. NEVER! Sometimes Always
6. How much flora does your house have around it? Pick one, asshole. A lot. Some, but the front door is plainly visible. None whatsoever.
7. Have you ever had to replace parts of walls or roof because they were "water damaged" or "leaked"? Pick one, asshole. No. Once or twice. All the time.
8. Has your house ever been broken into? Pick one, asshole. No. Yes, but we don't like to talk about it. My nouse has not been the same since. We suspect so, but the house denies it.
9. Has your house ever been infested, i.e. bees, rodents, ants, ect? Pick one, asshole. No. Yes. Many times.
10. Does your house have any screen doors? Pick one, asshole. No. Some of the doors. Yes, we have one on each door. Better safe than sorry.